#fuck. wtf am i gonna do abt that
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#.gif#dude thats my ghost!#whoever animated that last scene deserves a big PHAT kiss on the lips#THEY LOOK SO ALIVE SO ANIMATED THERES SM PERSONALITYYYYYY#n e wayz i fucking love this episode#how tf do i add music to these posts these goobers r so ocean man by ween core i love them lots im gonna cry again ouhmyghghghosds#had to physically restrain myself from jamming an additional 38789347389 bjc shots into this thang; this isnt relevant wtf am i typing rn#THIS AINT ABT HIM#dtmg
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yooo i haven't done any fun makeup in forever❗️❗️❗️❗️❗️❗️❗️
#def not the kinda thing im used to doing but god i havent played around in so long i needed it yk....#sometimes a gal just has to do her makeup and hair at 12 am just to feel a little joyful 💔#anyway im really not used to seeing myself w this type of eye makeup 🧍♀️#its kinda cute tho i think but we're not gonna talk abt the crease.....i tried my best 🫡#also please for the love of god dont zoom in too much i noticed there's a fucking rogue hair on my forehead. wtf EMBARRASSING#my face
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#u dont understand the predicament ive trapped mys3lf in#i want to get a tattoo to cover up some scars so i dont have to b self conscious abt them#bc u dont think ppl r gonna ask abt it but they absolutely do#BUT. my brain says: no u cant tattoo on that arm. only ur left leg and right arm#those r the rules. so im just sitting here like >:-[#and then its like: wtf do i even do to cover them? i wish someone could just tell me what to put there#but im THE pickiest person ever and only want abstract tattoos#hhhhhhh. im so fucking tired. and i put in my 2 weeks notice at work bc i am actually going back to school#hope it doesnt kill me but ive got 2 weeks to brace for pain#at least i no longer have roomates to deal with#unrelated
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the only thing stopping me from writing larxene x aura blackquill smut is that i have no earthly fucking idea how to get the two in a room together. wouldnt want it to be some 'au where theyre both office workers and get locked in a closet xoxo' thing. aiming for fully plausible 'YOU CAN'T PROVE IT DIDN'T HAPPEN'. i usually place japanifornia in quadratum for my ends re: keyblade revolutionnaire, but that asks wicked questions abt how larxene got there so my best bet is probably 'san fransokyo and we imply that the plot of big hero 6 is happening in the background of aa during the 7 year gap'. but then what
#got them on the same world at least :bloody_thumbs_up:#all i can think is they meet in a bar -> fucking hate each other -> take it outside -> make out against a wall -> onwards and upwards#but like. wtf are they fighting abt. what happens after they make out#like ik dom/sub stuff is optional but larxy and aura are both wicked domineering#(i usually call her 'larry' as my nickname to keep myself from maintagging her but i absolutely cannot do that anywhere near aa)#am i even familiar enough with their characters to write em faithfully < asking this abt crossover femslash with a target audience of 0#so like it turns out there are a number of things stopping me! among them that ive never written any smut that isnt materfred bullshit#will think it over and then maybe...#god if this is the first kh x aa thing i write and Not keyblade revolutionnaire im gonna get laughed out of my own brain#larxquill
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#ok dude if my boss tries asking me one more time if im pregnant im gonna start throwing hands#i should have thrown hands the first goddamn time#i called in sick ONE day bc i had a terrible cold and she somehow took that as i must be not feeling well bc im pregnant????#ive never talked about having kids i dont want kids i am not pregnant and its NONE OF HER BUSINESS#shes insane#and then she asked me another day if i planned on having kids and i said no and she was like oh well theyre going to have to#let in more immigrants to make up for the kids you dont have#like?????? huh?#i said ok let em sounds great#and then she said well u better hope there will be robots to take care of u when ur older#as if her piece of shit son is gonna take care of her#and i said if the only reason to have kids is to make them take care of u when ur old then thats a terrible reason and im not doing it#she didnt like either of my answers and shut up real quick#and left it alone but then today she walks in the door and in front of the whole room asks again if im pregnant#like WHAT???? ur my boss u shouldnt be nagging me abt this shit#esp in light of. recent events#but just WTF???#im so done#rant#life with shannon#does anybody else have this fucking problem????
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#no but i actually hate that i made this blog to vent freely bc i have no other place to talk abt anything or my feelings or thoughts#and im a very isolated person and a shut in and i dont have a job or go to school successfully and i dont know anyone#like blah blah. i have struggled and im drowning in them all. like why the fuck cant ppl just comprehend that we all have different views o#life and the world? like 'wallowing' is .. i have heavy anxiety which is completely untreated and it gives me real bad suicidal ideation#if me complaining on a blog that im btw not forcing anyone to read helps me to stay alive and get my pain out... why does that matter to#other ppl?????? like why does other ppl get so mad seeing someone they dont know vent??#also this goes for everyone but u can literally have no idea abt all of a person's life#esp on here where all u see is like my text posts where i vent abt how i FEEL. bc i want to. ??? i want to do that so i do#u dont know the context u dont know my experiences or what has happened in my life or context#u dont know what has transpired between me and other ppl i vent abt#like u know fuck all. u dont have the right to pass judgement onto a stranger that doesnt even know u exist#and even if i complain on here bc i dont have a real life but i want to#u have no idea what im doing with the rest of my time???? im making lists im trying to look up info abt school and programs#im trying to read abt my mental health issues and im doing mindfulness and im going to the gym#i am trying!!! and u dont have any idea what i do or how i try and u dont have any right to judge me bc all u see is one part that is me#complaining bc this is what i use this blog for. genuinely i do not get why this is even a big deal or why anyone would follow or read smth#makes them irritated???????#idk.. i dont wanna disable anons and stuff (bc funnily enough no one ever says this stuff with their url 🤨) bc i dont wanna miss out on the#stuff but it is infuriating that i have nowhere to go no friends no therapist etc etc to talk#and this is all i have bc i want to vent !!!!!!! and then i have to be like ok now other ppl i dont even know#and who dont actually give a fuck abt me are gonna judge me and tell me im living incorrectly#and ive never gotten more such things than now? why do y'all hate that i vent abt losing out on my 1st love#and feeling heartbroken?????? what the fuck? that has nothing to do with anyone else but me? like genuinely wtf#i just wanna vent bc i feel like im drowning but now i feel like i cant bc ppl just judge and like ugh
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i was so productive in bg3 today fjsvcjdhd
#did the house of hope (aka fucked an incubus and killed a devil)#did the steel watch foundry (accidentally had a few gondians die but then still said fuck you to wulbren)#did the whole ansur thing (holyyyyy fuck why are there so many revelations abt this one characters identity like)#And killed gortash (karlach my bby..... 😭)#and after all this w karlach constantly in party her approval of me is at. 51 now. wtf girl. ily and this is how you treat me fjdvckdvcjdh#this also made me think of more like. wrong/bad endings for the companions#duke wyll. god gale. sharran shadowheart. ascended astarion. dead karlach??? i guess?? lae'zel??? idk whats like the bad ending for her#anyways i am rapidly approaching the end of my very first bg3 playthrough and it makes me kinda sad#but then again i keep adding more ideas to playthroughs i wanna do....#like i wanna do everyones origin. i wanna do redeemed durge and evil durge. i wanna do regular evil.#i wanna make shadowheart and lae'zel have the enemies to lovers story they deserve#i wanna try to actually save every tiefling (rip rolan and also arabella i think bc i forgot abt her existence after the grove was done)#i wanna become half illithid and do a bunch of absolute stuff#i wanna maybe yknow uh save barcus in grymforge and not encourage nere to kinda maybe kill him and the other gnomes#i wanna play as ascended astarion but also as unascended astarion#judging by how im like 140hrs into this playthrough. all of this is gonna take me the rest of the year gjxbckdbdj
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#ok i will say smth abt it bc im a little pissed hehe#and verito is not answering my texts so now u all have to hear it#im not self absorbed enough to believe i know what's best for phoebe or if she planned it or not or whatever#the way she announced it seems she's pretty excited so good for her#but honestly some of the takes i've seen on here...#people in their middle/late 20s calling this 19 year old girl an idiot#saying that she must not know the difference between her vagina and her urethra#that louis must be soo disappointed and that he didn't pay and expensive school for her to get pregnant (????????)#do u guys hear yourselves what the actual fuck#ofc teen pregnancy is an issue worldwide but is this really the hill you're gonna die on?? that it's all the girl's fault bc she's stupid??#u sound like a 50 yo congressman wtf is the actual matter with you#people i've seen joking about how long until her bf leaves her...#i literally encourage u to seek help it is not normal to lack empathy in this way and to be so cruel to a person who has#literally done nothing to you#also louis can pay for whatever school he likes he still doesn't have the right to decide over his little sister's body?? do u guys#hear yourselves be so real with me rn#also how do u even know he's upset??#tfw some of u think u know louis.. it's insane#i literally am in shock at some of the things i had to read today#i really hope you are not in any field where people come to you for help#especially girls especially young girls#you guys are insane lmao#that's all <33#shut up laura
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#saga of the zoo job continues agjdkfl ok today was my first day alone on the register#and i’m at one of the kiosks aka away from any help lol#and the very first transaction i get there’s a error warning and i can’t ring them up 😭#so i just send that person to a different store and just am like wow. sure hope that doesn’t happen again#so ofc it happens to every other person#and i have a walkie but i was apparently using it wrong#so i just thought the manager was ignoring me for a while#but when i finally do it right and he comes over he just takes that customer away and leaves 😭#so i call again later and i’m like hey.. it’s still not working..#and he just comes over and has us shut down the whole kiosk a agdjkfkfl#aaaaaaaaaaa i was actually looking forward to just chilling on my own for a day but idk what they’re gonna have me do once i get back#hope it wasn’t me that fucked it up i genuinely don’t know wtf went wrong 😭#anyway i’ve gotten way too stressed abt that i need to calm down lol
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Comics Read in 2023:
The Whole of Humanity Has Gone Yuri Except for Me Vol. 1 by Hiroki Haruse (2019)
The Whole of Humanity Has Gone Yuri Except for Me Vol. 2 by Hiroki Haruse (2020)
Ogi's Summer Break Vol. 1 by Koikawa (2021)
Ogi's Summer Break Vol. 2 by Koikawa (2021)
7th Time Loop: The Villainess Enjoys a Carefree Life Married to Her Worst Enemy! Vol. 1 by Hinoki Kino, Touko Amekawa, & Hachipisu Wan (2021)
7th Time Loop: The Villainess Enjoys a Carefree Life Married to Her Worst Enemy! Vol. 2 by Hinoki Kino, Touko Amekawa, & Hachipisu Wan (2021)
7th Time Loop: The Villainess Enjoys a Carefree Life Married to Her Worst Enemy! Vol. 3 by Hinoki Kino, Touko Amekawa, & Hachipisu Wan (2022)
My Next Life as a Villainess: All Routes Lead to Doom! Vol. 1 by Satoru Yamagachi & Nami Hidaka (2019)
My Next Life as a Villainess: All Routes Lead to Doom! Vol. 2 by Satoru Yamagachi & Nami Hidaka (2019)
[ID: Covers of aforementioned books. End ID.]
#2023media#gonna start separating comics and other books#anyway whole of humanity has gone yuri was. bad.#i was expecting some silly lil ridic thing and it tried to do plot and it was just#bad#ogi's summer break i had hopes for but nope it was also bad#chapter 2 feels like a fever dream still. do not bother with it#7th time loop is fun! im enjoying the main girl a lot and her LI is like#man she is so weird. wtf. i am going to marry her#its abt a girl who keeps looping through time for like 5 years before dying and now she's on her 7th loop#next life as a villainess is a mindless read tbh its silly stuff and the mc is SUCH an idiot#but the manga and everyone in it are fully fully aware she has nothing going on#so its fine lmao#its one of those 'i isekai-d into an otome game and now everyone loves ME instead of the heroine' kind#including the women. bi rights ig even tho they're clearly not endgame#not a fan of the fact that her fucking... adopted brother is an LI...#anyway its brainless. its silly fun#if you expect anything other than mindlessness i think u will b very disappointed
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#i was looking through old photos today. they where from wjen i was like 1 and it made me so sad#bc my mum would have been like only a year or 2 older then i am now and she looked so young#and now she has an abdomen full of tumors and blistered hands and feet. theyre prob gonna hsve to remove her bladder#but shes still very pragmatic abt it. but she grew up in a house where no one really cared about her feelings so she made them small#and now her mother calls and doesn't ask how her grandkids are doing and doesn't ask how her daughter is doing. im cursed with terrible#grandparents on both sides but i resent my mothers mother worse. though my dad said i probably wouldnt have survived his upbringing#and hes right. my nana has like zero empathy and cant cook for shit. idk how my parents r so normal but the fact i had a good upbringing is#probably the only reason im still here. and thats the other thing that made me sad abt the old pics. just looking at this little baby with a#fucked up head and thinking: in 25 years that kid is gonna b so broken down their not gonns kno what to do or how to fix it. idk whats wrong#with me. ive always been some stage of miserable but i used to b able to get things done. and now i cant seem to force functionality#and it sucks. bc im home now and i still feel like im cringing around this open wound in my chest. but whatever#as of today ive started taking ab1lify. hopefully it helps in the long term but in the short term it triggers my 0cd. which is not fun#its so frustrating. whatever. i also found out my eyes used to not work together. not enough to have a lazy eye but it was hard for me to#read and apparently my eyes were tracking at like double the speed of a normal person. wtf is wrong with my brain? also also my mum was like#yea i never would have guessed bip0lar but we thought it was something. autism i could see 100% but yea didnt see that coming. ao i guess#i brehave like a bit of an oddball. ans my nana would bother my dad to try to make me participate in church and my dad was like no. she#clearly don't wanna b here lol. ay. they did the best they could which i appreciate#unrelated
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if u want to get ahead of the game and block some nasty ppl before they ever have the chance to interact w you, you can just go thru the likes and rbs of a blatantly nasty post (e.g. a post catering to pedophilic pairings) and just ... block everyone in there. esp with the likes, this can effectively block people's main blogs so hopefully they won't even have the chance to see any of your posts. this can help curate your experience on here a little better sometimes!
#done this a few times and its blocked some chuckleheads who are weirdly secretive abt their proclivities lmao#just make sure theres no reblogs with someone saying ''hey man wtf this is fucked up''#bc then u dont know if the likes were for that response or for the original post djdksl#if any chuckleheads see this - I'm curating my experience just like y'all always say to do! peace and love on planet earth 🕊️🕊️#honestly i am tired of thinking abt all of this but like... it genuinely triggers me pretty badly any time i see smth to do w it#so if i can just remove any chance of me running across it in the future then that's going to make my life so much better in the long run#dandy.cmd#im gonna turn off rbs actually fhdkdl if anyone wants to spread this advice feel free to make ur own post!#with my mental health lately though i am afraid I'll attract harassment so I'm just putting this out here for any followers who see it#and ur free to spread this advice in ur own words if you'd like :] i just do not have the ability to deal w any potential harassment -#-if this spreads w my name on it fhfkdl perhaps im letting my paranoia win but alas I'll give it this win just this once
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i have literally nowhere else to put this i apologise for the spam. the absolute best thing to come out of s3 trent is without a doubt the fucking earnestness... like in s1-2 he always came across as a very self-assured kind of guy, who knew how he came off (ie: intimidating) and enjoyed it. but seeing that paired with him being silly + completely relaxing in certain company??? pulling ridiculous faces at vodka + scrunching up his nose when he smiles @ colin + making the most ABSURD 'i really wanna say something right now but i feel like im interrupting' noises ive ever heard in my fucking LIFE??? its like. he is cool as shit and he is self assured AND he can make dumb fucking sherlock holmes jokes and dance ridiculously. its like!!!! he's lame but he's also not bc he's exactly as confident in being lame as he is being cool. do u see the vision. he has killed the part of him that cringes!!!! its just.. that unshakeable self confidence that u see in his fucking swaggers into frame includes all of himself + his different moods and eccentricities and that's just so based to me idk. unironically live ur best life wear the loudest combination of prints and patterns and primary colours uve ever seen in ur life while espousing the virtues of extended museum hours!!! contain multitudes! get silly with it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#ted lasso spoilers#combined with james lance's hc abt trent's past its just. like!!#the growth from 'i can't be what you want me to be so im going to be Better than them + tear them down'#-> 'i know my reputation so im going to lean into that + be ruthless + intimidating' ->#'actually fuck this? fuck this! im just gonna be me and if anyone has a problem w then L To Them I'm Actually Living'#also this is just my hcs at this point but like. i do think ted helped a lot w the latter part of this process in so much as. ted embodied#someone who was Visibly weak + vulnerable and had no armour/no sense of self preservation#(the opposite of trent's persona) and made no effort to change anything abt himself to prevent attack. obviously ted has a lot of social +#class advantages that make that less risky for him than it would be for others but like. u get the drift#and i THINK. seeing how without that armour/facade ted was able to be rlly direct + earnest w connecting w ppl#like asking an interviewer 'what do u love?' and rlly genuinely wanting to know the answer#and bc TRENT was specifically in the position of 'i could fucking destroy u rn and u wouldn't put up a fight'#that kind of. shifted his perspective a bit? like. damn what would that say abt me if i wrote a hit piece on this guy rn#i disagree VERY strongly w the idea that trent's more positive character development moments happened ONLY bc of ted (i don't think that's#true for anyone in the show tbh) BUT i think ted's presence at a pivotal point in his life was what helped him confront the fact that#at this stage in his life all his intellectual armour was doing was making him into someone Mean rather than just incisive#like. 'is this a fucking joke' is not cutting journalism. u get me??#and arguably that's a fine and even safe choice to make when ur younger and have no support/reputation backing u up#but after decades? its like man wtf are we doign here if were literally just living preventatively#smth smth i hope i am not just a tumblr blog to u but a blog who is inventing the brain chemistry of a sitcom side character#w each new episode they watch. trent crimm is my best friend irl i know he would have scorching hot takes abt each new season of survivor#and would earnestly heckle the jury and final 3 alike
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Ugh im actually gonna do job searching this time
#i speak#i really am just done with these ppl#because why is it any of my lead teachers business why im ‘taking too long in the bathroom’ (3-4 min to do the whole ordeal)? esp when#she takes twice as long?#and why is she allowed to skirt the rules and our policy as much as she wants and be actively mean to the kids?#and wtf do you mean ‘do catch an attitude abt us not answer the codes youve been calling’ (for roughly two hours at that point)#dont* catch#and what do you mean youre not gonna give direction when we ask for it?#im just#im done#i said i was gonna give them 5 months#but theyve already proven that if i go to them about my lead#that theyre not only not going to offer advice#but theyre going to brush me off. down play everything im feeling#and everything shes doing#its just… fucking stupid and im done with it#im gonna start looking and applying to new jobs#and maybe i finish out the year and maybe i dont#but this job really isnt worth the 6 month long stress induced depressive episode#childcare chronicles#i guess
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shrieking screaming
#i wanna b active on my own discord server but like i need to step back bc its just making me feel kinda shitty already#idek why#plus i know im gnna over Mokey everyone. tries so hard to sound normal and not mother everyone in the chat#anytime anyone says anything im like no? abt it takes everything in me to not go full mokey mode#screaming bc i want to connect w ppl so bad but i dont think im meant to#i think i was just meant to b viewed from a screen and not a lot of ppl Get it#i dont wanna b like nOboDY gETs mE bc thats not true. but i do feel as if im operating on a veryyyy different level than a lot of ppl#and im like ik they do not give a single shit when i talk so im like shit im so sorry im gonna SHUT THE FUCK UP FOREVER LOLL#so im just gnna let everyone do they thing and ill pop in when i need to or when im called or apparently when theres steves in the chat#beetlejuice ass bitch#kinda sucks i feel i will never truly fit anywhere but its okay#i can Belong and not.... have to... idk. idk. going to journal bc wtf#hhhh practicing acceptance and gratitude and reframing how i look at things.#sometimes i still have these days tho#ill just save all my thoughts for a video like i was meant to#thats how i contribute :/ i dont get to have conversations i dont think#i fear i am generally just too much for people#im like ugh they think im annoying i shouldve never started this lmfaooo i just wanted to have ppl to talk to abt stuff i like with 😔#always comes back to this
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hellaur
#suddenly i’m an audiobook person LOL#i’m rerewatching y/oung sheIdon and yesterday i was playing mindless phone game (on youtube lmfao)#while listening to netfIix 💀#and then i was like bro wtf i could be listening to a book rn#so slay spotify premium audiobooks i’m listening to one Iast stop#and sleeping at bad times bc i just wanna keep listenjng while playing dumb mindless games lol 😀#spoilers ahead ? (one Iast stop by casey mcq/uiston up to/thru chapter 7#that subway car hopping scene in ch 7 ;-; killed me bye#the minute it started w august talking abt not know what she is outside of college i was like well fuck#someone get me to nyc and get me a jane to run btwn subway cars with#i should stop typing this post bc it’s making me not listen as well to it LOL#bro i have not touched book since end of january 💀😭 i was reading the night circus#i still do want to finish it but it’s just slow :\ which fits the book ig and makes sense#but isn’t great when i am being bad at reading rn LOL#i think it would be cool to read a physical copy of this tho like the intro to every chapter#ANYWAY STOP SO U CAN ACTUALLY READ/LISTEN WELL LOL#i’m supposed to meet friends tmrw at 11am aka today in 8 hrs lmao 🤡 i wanna keep listening ;-;#i’m gonna make good sleep decisions for shore :D#jeanne talks#3:36am GN LOL
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